The Thinker

The Thinker

Maybe you’re wondering if now is the time to change your job or career, to move to a new city, or whether you should buy a home. Whatever decision you want to make, I’ve found that the steps below have helped when deliberating over important decisions in my own life.

1. Calm Yourself

Simple, right? Not all of us are that great at relaxation, deep breathing, or meditation. That’s okay! If you put your mind to it, you’ll find something that will help calm yourself. Some love yoga, some prefer deep breathing, some like exercising, or listening to music. Experiment and do what’s right for you. You’re not going to be in a good frame of mind to think and evaluate your situation if you’re physically, emotionally, or even spiritually out of sorts.

2. Take Your Time to Think and Feel

Allow yourself the time to think, and just as importantly, to feel. Sometimes a strong thought or feeling will come to you, and you’ll know deep down what the right choice is. Other times, you may be torn over what to do. It all depends on the situation and the circumstances.

If you find that you need to do any kind of research in order to think over the matter, then do so. When you have the necessary information available for you to deliberate over, then allow yourself to think over the matter logically without letting your emotions play too much into the mix. For example, if I’m buying a home, I’ll think over facts such as my current salary, and how much the monthly cost of the new home will be. Once you have the facts lined up, then you can start to see how you feel about the matter. For example, is my gut reaction excitement or apprehension at the thought of owning a new home?

What you think and feel are both equally important. You may find that you very much want to buy a new house, but your brain is telling you that you simply cannot afford it. Likewise, sometimes the most logical thing in the world for you to do just may not feel right.

As Blaise Pascal said, “The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.”

3. Write Down Your Thoughts and Feelings

Sometimes a person can have an overwhelming amount of “stuff” running through their head. Your mind can get cluttered, and that can lead to frustration. That’s why I highly recommend writing your thoughts and feelings down. All of the things running through your head may seem chaotic, but when you begin to write them down in black and white, your mind can start to relax in knowing that any fleeting thoughts have been captured and not forgotten. Writing things down can help you process your thoughts and emotions.

4. Talk It Over

You’ve most likely been inside your own head up to this point. Now’s the time to talk out loud with someone you trust on the subject. Having someone as a sounding board can help you organize your ideas. They may potentially bring up topics you hadn’t thought of before, or even provide a new way of thinking over something. Use your best judgment on how many people to talk with. Speaking with a handful of people is one thing, but if you find yourself talking to more and more people without any new insights, you may be procrastinating over taking the next step.

5. Make Your Decision

You won’t be able to move forward until you’ve finally made a choice. By now, you’ve taken the time to see what you think and feel about the matter in a calm frame of mind, you’ve given the matter serious thought, and deliberated over it with others. It is now time to make your decision. If you are someone who finds they have a tendency to second-guess and wonder if you made the right choice, hopefully the steps you’ve taken thus far up to your decision will help calm your mind.

Congratulations! You’re now ready to act on your decision!